Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i came on her dog
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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