The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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