I bet he comes in French.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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