your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You dont lie about slip and slides
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
