white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
