Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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