covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
