Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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