I am in a vortex of obligation.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
