lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
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I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
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He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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