I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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