if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Im part way to drunk.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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