i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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