i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My ass is underappreciated
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
