Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
