you guys were way drunker than both of me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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