I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
