Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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