grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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