just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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