I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
