Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize