it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
