He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
