Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
