Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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