he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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