hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
