My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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