i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
only you would photoshop your dick
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize