New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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