And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
