you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
