Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
