Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dear god my vagina.
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