The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
