I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
