Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i came on her dog
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize