You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
