He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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