I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
