i think my tv is drunk
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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