Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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