how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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