i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize