My first STD was from a foam party
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
