4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just pee around me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
