we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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