69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
