I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
