oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize