I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
