Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
