Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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