Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
