You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
