I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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