just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
