all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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