There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
