Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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