ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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